Drunkard's Log BeerDate 59630.7

Redhook Command has directed the Enterprise to do a preliminary exploration of the brewery --- in advance of a full research team. Sensors report the place to be habitable, but are receiving confusing readings with regard to female life forms. I am beaming down with a landing party composed of all our chief officers except for poor Scotty. (he never shows)

Drunkard's Log, Supplemental:

Ensign Brunson has received a head injury, apparently while exploring under a table. He reports only hearing a loud sound and jumping before being struck. After examination by Dr. Russell he has been judged capable of continuing duty.

Drunkard's Log, Supplemental:

We have encountered an alien creature on this planet. While it does not itself seem menacing, a fortunate occurrence took place when it was present. Specifically, on my orders, Lt. White drew his glass. The creature (of amazing beauty) filled it will an amber bubbly liquid, immediately following a curious white foam appeared at the top. He drank. Oddly enough, Lt. White started showing signs of disorietation and started to slur. Mr. Miller determined that the effects of the liquid were benign and deemed it safe for comsumption. Lt White has been sent back to the ship for examination and quarantine.

Drunkard's Log, Beerdate 59633.3:

The strange occurrences that have dogged the landing party since our arrival at this brewery have led me to believe that the creature is in some way directly responsible for them. Lt White and Ensign Brunson have both been declared fit for return to duty, though Dr. Russell has entered in his medical log that he feels we should be kept under observation. Mr. Chris has constructed a device which he suspects should be able to counteract the creature's incredible concoction: We have placed a dish of birdseed out in the open, with several signs pointing to it. The dish is atop a cleverly concealed trap door, which will open when any weight falls on it. The creature will then travel a slide, eventually being deposited in a cage constructed of sheets of transparent aluminum. We will then be free to analyze it at our leisure. Wait a minute that was an episode of Road Runner...Computer please remove last 5 min of log. Meanwhile, I have forbidden all beaming down to the floor of the bar except on my or Mr. Chris's direct order.

Drunkard's Log, Supplemental:

The plan failed. The creature was indeed too enticing to be ignored, as expected. It filled the glasses, brought us food, and sped off without succumbing to my lines of flirtation. Mr. Miller is as puzzled as I, and the decision was made to give in to the power of females serving beer and screw the mission

Drunkard's Log, Beerdate 59644.2:

This is a warning to all other starships that may pass this way. Do not approach this Brewery unless you have nothing else to do! If you have heard the events transcribed in the rest of this log, you will learn that this creature is nearly undefeatable. We have been overcome with the urge to stay and drink and drink and drink and stare at Jubblies. Resistance is Futile

Captain Timothy R Sankey, of the United Federation of Drunkards, Captain of the Brewship Enterprise, recording.